227 ("There's No Place Like Home" by Ray Colcord)

There's no place like home

With your family around you you're never alone

When ya know that your loved

You don't need to roam

Cause there's no place like home

 

Time's are changing everyday

We won't get by with the same old ways

No-oooo pulling together will make it right

With help from are friends I know we can right

 

Cause there's no place like home

With your family around you you're never alone

When you know that your loved

You don't need to roam

Cause there ain't no place like

Better believe it

I said their no place like home

"I mean no place child" .

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I Love Lucy ("I Love Lucy" by Harold Adamson and Eliot Daniel)

There's a certain couple that I know.

They're strictly lovebirds,

A pair of turtle dove birds.

He's a guy who wants the world to know.

So ev'ry day

You'll hear him say

 

I Love Lucy and she loves me,

We're as happy as two can be,

sometimes we quarrel but then again

How we love making up again.

 

Lucy kisses like no one can,

She's my missus and I'm her man;

And life is heaven you see

Cause I Love Lucy

Yes I Love Lucy

and Lucy loves me.

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I Married Joan ("I Married Joan" by Richard Mack)

I married Joan

What a girl, what a whirl, what a life.

Oh I married Joan

What a mind, love is blind what a wife.

 

Giddy and gay, all day she keeps my heart laughin'

Never know where her brain has flown.

 

Each to his own

Can't deny that's why I married Joan.

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Leave it to Beaver ("The Toy Parade" by Dave Kahn, Melvyn Leonard and Mort Greene)

Hey! Here they come with a rum-tee tum they're having a toy parade.

A tin giraffe with a fife and drum is leading the kewpie parade.

A gingham cat in a soldier's hat is waving a Chinese fan,

A plastic clown in a wedding gown is dancing with Raggedy Ann.

 

Fee fie fiddle dee dee they're crossing the living room floor

Fee fie fiddle dee dee they're up to the dining room door.

 

They call a halt for a choc'late malt or cookies and lemonade

Then off they go with a ho ho ho right back to their toy brigade.

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The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis ("Dobie" by Max Shulman and Lionel Newman)

Dobie, wants a little cutie,

Dobie, wants a little beauty,

Dobie want a gal to call his own

Any size, any style, any eyes, any smile, any Jean, any Jane, nay Joan.

 

Oh Dobie, wants a girl who is dreamy,

Dobie, wants a girl who's creamy,

Dobie, wants a girl to call his own.

Is she blond, is she tall, is she dark, is she small, Is she any kinda dreamboat at all

No matter, he's hers and hers alone.

Top of Page

The Patty Duke Show

Meet Cathy, who's lived most everywhere,

From Zanzibar to Barclay Square.

But Patty's only seen the sight.

A girl can see from Brooklyn Heights --

What a crazy pair!

 

But they're cousins,

Identical cousins all the way.

One pair of matching bookends,

Different as night and day.

 

Where Cathy adores a minuet,

The Ballet Russes, and crepe suzette,

Our Patty loves to rock and roll,

A hot dog makes her lose control --

What a wild duet!

 

Still, they're cousins,

Identical cousins and you'll find,

They laugh alike, they walk alike,

At times they even talk alike --

 

You can lose your mind,

When cousins are two of a kind.

 

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The Real McCoys ("The Real McCoys" by Harry Ruby)

Want you to meet the family that's known as The Real McCoys.

From West Virginee they came to stay in sunny Californi-ay.

That's Grand Pappy Amos and the girls and the boys of the family known as the Real McCoys.

 

Livin' like good folks should live, as happy as kids with toys.

Ol Grand Pappy Amos is head of the clan, he roars like a lion, but he's gentle as a lamb.

His grandson Luke keeps beaming with joy, since he made miss Kate Missus Luke McCoy.

 

What a house keeper Kate is, she's doin' what she enjoys.

No gal can beat her when it comes to looks, the same can be said about the way she cooks.

For Grand Pappy Amos and the girls and boys of the family known as the Real McCoys.

 

Sharing each others sorrows, enjoyin' each others joys.

Like all other families they quarrel and fuss, but it ain't never serious,

With Grand Pappy Amos and the girls and boys of the family known as the Real McCoys.

 

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The Addams Family ("The Addams Family" by Vic Mizzy)

They're creepy and they're kooky,

Mysterious and spooky,

They're all together ooky,

The Addams Family.

 

Their house is a museum

Where people come to see 'em

They really are a scream

The Addams Family.

 

(Neat)

(Sweet)

(Petite)

 

So get a witches shawl on

A broomstick you can crawl on

We're gonna pay a call on

The Addams Family.

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The Andy Griffith Show ("The Fishin' Hole" by Everett Sloane, Earle Hagen and Herbert Spencer)

Well, now, take down your fishin' pole and meet me at The Fishin' Hole,

We may not get a bite all day, but don't you rush away.

 

What a great place to rest your bones and mighty fine for skippin' stones,

You'll feel fresh as a lemonade, a-settin' in the shade.

 

Whether it's hot, whether it's cool, oh what a spot for whistlin' like a fool.

 

What a fine day to take a stroll and wander by The Fishin' Hole,

I can't think of a better way to pass the time o' day.

 

We'll have no need to call the roll when we get to The Fishin' Hole,

There'll be you, me, and Old Dog Trey, to doodle time away.

 

If we don't hook a perch or bass, we'll cool our toes in dewy grass,

Or else pull up a weed to chaw, and maybe set and jaw.

 

Hangin' around, takin' our ease, watchin' that hound a-scratchin' at his fleas.

 

Come on, take down your fishin' pole and meet me at The Fishin' Hole,

I can't think of a better way to pass the time o' day.

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Beverly Hillbillies ("The Ballad of Jed Clampett" by Paul Henning)

Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed

A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed,

Then one day he was shootin at some food,

And up through the ground came a bubblin crude.

 

Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea.

 

Well the first thing you know ol Jed's a millionaire,

Kinfolk said "Jed move away from there"

Said "Californy is the place you ought to be"

So they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly.

 

Hills, that is. Swimmin pools, movie stars.

 

Well now its time to say good by to Jed and all his kin.

And they would like to thank you folks fer kindly droppin in.

You're all invited back a gain to this locality

To have a heapin helpin of their hospitality

 

Hillybilly that is. Set a spell, Take your shoes off.

 

Y'all come back now, y'hear?.

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Bewitched ("Bewitched" by Howard Greenfield and Jack Keller, not used)

Bewitched, Bewitched,

You've got me in your spell.

Bewitched, Bewitched,

You know your craft so well.

Before I knew what I was doing

I looked in your eyes

That brand of woo you've been brewin'

Took me by surprise.

 

You witch, you witch,

One thing is for sure.

That stuff you pitch

Just hasn't got a cure.

My heart was under lock and key,

But somehow it got unhitched.

I never thought that I could be had

But now I'm caught and I'm kinda glad

To be Bewitched.

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Car 54, Where Are You? (Theme by Ned Hiken)

There's a hold up in the Bronx,

Brooklyn's broken out in fights.

There's a traffic jam in Harlem

That's backed up to Jackson Heights.

There's a scout troup short a child,

Kruschev's due at Idlewild

Car 54, Where Are You?

 

(musical interlude)

 

There's a hold up in the Bronx,

Brooklyn's broken out in fights.

There's a traffic jam in Harlem

That's backed up to Jackson Heights.

There's a scout troup short a child,

Kruschev's due at Idlewild

Car 54, Where Are You?

 

Top of Page

The Courtship of Eddie's Father ("Best Friend" by Harry Nilsson)

People let me tell you 'bout my best friend,

He's a warm hearted person who'll love me till the end.

People let me tell you bout my best friend,

He's a one boy cuddly toy, my up, my down, my pride and joy.

 

People let me tell you 'bout him he's so much fun

Whether we're talkin' man to man or whether we're talking son to son.

Cause he's my best friend.

Yes he's my best friend.

(scat finish).

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F Troop ("F Troop" by Irving Taylor and William Lava)

The end of the Civil War was near

When quite accidentally,

A hero who sneezed abruptly seized

Retreat and reversed it to victory.

 

His medal of honor pleased and thrilled

his proud little family group.

While pinning it on some blood was spilled

And so it was planned he'd command F Troop.

 

Where Indian fights are colorful sights

and nobody takes a lickin'

Where pale face and redskin

Both turn chicken.

 

When killing and fighting get them down,

They know their morale can't droop.

As long as they all relax in town

Before they resume with a bang and a boom

F Troop.

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Gidget ("Gidget" by Howard Greenfield and Jack Keller)

If you're in doubt about angels being real.

I can arrange to change any doubts you feel.

Wait'll you see my Gidget!

You'll want her for your Valentine.

You're gonna say she's all that you adore

But stay away, Gidet is spoken for

You're gonna find that Gidget is mine!

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Gilligan's Island ("The Ballad of Gilligan's Island" by George Wyle and Sherwood Shwartz)

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,

A tale of a fateful trip

That started from this tropic port

Aboard this tiny ship.

 

The mate was a mighty sailing man,

The skipper brave and sure.

Five passengers set sail that day

For a three hour tour, a three hour tour.

 

The weather started getting rough,

The tiny ship was tossed,

If not for the courage of the fearless crew

The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost.

 

The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle

With Gilligan

The Skipper too,

The millionaire and his wife,

The movie star

The professor and Mary Ann,

Here on Gilligan's Isle.

 

So this is the tale of the castaways,

They're here for a long, long time,

They'll have to make the best of things,

It's an uphill climb.

 

The first mate and the Skipper too,

Will do their very best,

To make the others comfortable,

In the tropic island nest.

 

No phone, no lights no motor cars,

Not a single luxury,

Like Robinson Crusoe,

As primitive as can be.

 

So join us here each week my friends,

You're sure to get a smile,

From seven stranded castaways,

Here on "Gilligan's Isle."

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Green Acres ("Green Acres" by Vic Mizzy)

Green acres is the place for me.

Farm livin' is the life for me.

Land spreadin' out so far and wide

Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside.

 

New York is where I'd rather stay.

I get allergic smelling hay.

I just adore a penthouse view.

Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue.

 

...The chores.

...The stores.

...Fresh air.

...Times Square

 

You are my wife.

Good bye, city life.

Green Acres we are there.

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Hazel ("Hazel" by Howard Greenfield and Jack Keller)

People love you everywhere you go

Hazel.

Children cross the street to say hello,

Hazel.

 

You charm every Romeo and Casanova,

It's your personality that wins them over.

 

You may never be a millionaire

Hazel.

Count your friends and you don't have a care,

Hazel.

 

You've got more than wealth untold,

You've got a heart of solid gold.

We love you, Hazel,

Just because you're you.

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Hogan's Heroes ("March" by Jerry Fielding, not used)

Heroes, heroes, husky men of war,

Sons of all the hreoes, of the war before.

We're all heroes up to our ear o's

You ask questions

We make suggestions

That's what we're heroes for.

 

All good heroes love a good, big fight

Open up the bomb bays and brighten up the night.

We applaud the people who laud us,

You pull the roses,

We punch the noses,

That's what we're heroes for.

 

What's a hero do?

Well, we're not gonna tell ya

Cause we wish we knew.

That's why we heroes are so few.

We've got a slogan

From Colonel Hogan

And Colonel Hogan's a hero too.

 

Never flinch, boys, never be afraid,

Heroes are not born, boys, heroes are made.

Ask not why, boys, never say die, boys,

Answer the call, remember we'll all be heroes forever more.

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I Dream of Jeannie (Never actually aired) ("Jeannie" by Hugo Montenegro)

Jeannie, fresh as a daisy.

Just love how she obeys me,

Does things that just amaze me so.

 

She smiles, Presto the rain goes.

She blinks, up come the rainbows.

Cars stop, even the train goes slow.

 

When she goes by

She paints sunshine on every rafter,

Sprinkles the air with laughter,

We're close as a quarter after three.

 

There's no one like

 

Jeannie. I'll introduce her,

To you, but it's no use, sir,

Cause my Jeannie's in love with me.

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It's About Time ("It's About Time" by Gerald Fried and Sherwood Schwartz)

It's about time,

It's about space,

About strange people in the strangest place.

It's about time,

It's about flight,

Travelin' faster than the speed of light.

 

About space people and a brave crew,

As through the barrier of time they flew.

Pass the Roman Senators,

Pass an armored knight,

Pass the firing Minutemen,

To this modern site.

 

It's about time for you and me

To meet these people of amazing feats.

It's about two astronauts and how they educate

A pre-historic woman and her pre-historic mate.

 

It's about time

It's about space

About strange people in the strangest place

They will be here

With all of us

Dodging a taxi, a car, a bus.

 

Where will they go

What will they do

In this strange place where everything is new.

Will they manage to survive

Watch each week and see.

Will they get accustomed to the Twentieth Century.

 

It's about time

For our good byes

To all our pre-historic gals and guys.

 

And now,

It's About Time

It's About Time

It's About Time

It's About Time!

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Karen (By Jack Marshall and Bob Mosher)

She's a doll, she's a queen, she's a tantalizing teen.

And Karen, is her name (they call her Karen).

At a party she's a stomper and a rock and rollin romper.

Everybody's glad she came.

Hey that's Karen!

 

She sets her hair with great precision,

It's her favorite indoor sport,

And by the light of television,

She can even write a book report.

 

There is no one greater north or south of the equator,

Karen's always in a whirl

She's alarming but disarming, and a really very charming modern girl..

 

Top of Page

Love, American Style (Theme by Charles Fox and Arnold Margolin)

Love, Love, Love

 

Love, American Style,

Truer than the Red, White and Blue.

Love, American Style,

That's me and you.

 

And on a star spangled night my love, (My love come to me).

You can rest you head on my shoulder.

Out by the dawn's early light, my love

I will defend your right to try.

 

Love, American Style,

That's me and you.

 

Top of Page

The Monkees ("The Monkees" by Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart)

Actual Lyrics   Here we come Walking down the street We get the funniest looks from Everyone we meet.   Hey, hey we're the Monkees, and people say we monkey around. But we're too busy singing, to put anybody down.   We go wherever we want to, Do what we like to do. We don't have time to get restless, There's always something new.   Hey, hey we're the Monkees, and people say we monkey around. But we're too busy singing, to put anybody down.   We're just trying to be friendly, Come watch us sing and play. We're the young generation, And we got something to say.   Hey, hey we're the Monkees, You never know where we'll be found. So you'd better get ready, We may be comin to your town.   Hey, hey we're the Monkees, and people say we monkey around. But we're too busy singing, to put anybody down.

Used on the show:   Here we come Walking down the street We get the funniest looks from Everyone we meet.   Hey, hey we're the Monkees, and people say we monkey around. But we're too busy singing, to put anybody down.   We're just trying to be friendly, Come watch us sing and play. We're the young generation, And we got something to say.   Hey, hey we're the Monkees, You never know where we'll be found. So you'd better get ready, We may be comin to your town.

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Mr. Ed ("Mister Ed" by Ray Evans and Jay Livingston)

A horse is a horse, of course, of course,

And no one can talk to a horse of course

That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. Ed.

 

Go right to the source and ask the horse

He'll give you the answer that you'll endorse.

He's always on a steady course.

Talk to Mr. Ed.

 

People yakkity yak a streak and waste your time of day

But Mister Ed will never speak unless he has something to say.

 

A horse is a horse, of course, of course,

And this one'll talk 'til his voice is hoarse.

You never heard of a talking horse?

 

Well listen to this.

 

I am Mister Ed.

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Top of Page

My Mother the Car (Theme by Paul Hampton)

Everybody knows in a second life, we all come back sooner or later.

As anything from a pussycat to a man eating alligator.

Well you all may think my story, is more fiction than it's fact.

But believe it or not my mother dear decided she'd come back.

 

As a car...

She's my very own guiding star.

A 1928 Porter.

That's my mother dear.

'Cause she helps me through everything I do

And I'm so glad she's near.

 

My Mother the Car.

My Mother the car.

 

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Petticoat Junction ("Petticoat Junction" by Paul Henning and Curt Massey)

Come ride the little train that is rolling down the tracks to the junction.

(Petticoat Junction)

Forget about your cares, it is time to relax at the junction.

(Petticoat Junction)

 

Lotsa curves, you bet. Even more when you get

To the junction, Petticoat Junction.

 

There's a little hotel called the Shady Rest at the junction.

(Petticoat Junction)

It is run by Kate, come and be her guest at the junction.

(Petticaor Junction)

And that's Uncle Joe, he's a movin' kind of slow at the junction,

Petticoat Junction.

Top of Page

That Girl (Theme by Earle Hagen and Sam Denoff)

Diamonds, Daisies, Snowflakes,

That Girl

Chestnuts, Rainbows, Springtime...

Is That Girl

She's tinsel on a tree...

She's everything that every girl should be!

 

Sable, Popcorn, White Wine,

That Girl

Gingham, Bluebirds, Broadway...

Is That Girl

She's mine alone, but luckily for you...

If you find a girl to love,

Only one girl to love,

Then she'll be That Girl too...

That Girl!

Top of Page

Alice ("There's a New Girl in Town" by Alan and Marilyn Bergman & David Shire)

(One of many variations)

 

Early to rise, early to bed.

In and between I cooked and cleaned and went out of my head.

Going through life with blinders on, it's tough to see.

I had to get up, get out from under and look for me.

*There's a new girl in town and she's looking good.

*There's a fresh freckled face, in the neighborhoood.

There's a new girl in town, with a brand new style.

She was just passing through,

but if things work out she's gonna stay awhile....ba ba bum bum bummmm

(the two short versions omitted the lines marked with a *)

 

Top of Page

All in the Family ("Those Were the Days" by Charles Stouse and Lee Adams)

Boy the way Glen Miller played

Songs that made the hit parade.

Guys like us we had it made,

Those were the days.

 

And you knew who you were then,

Girls were girls and men were men,

Mister we could use a man

Like Herbert Hoover again.

 

Didn't need no welfare state,

Everybody pulled his weight.

Gee our old LaSalle ran great.

Those were the days.

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Angie ("Different Worlds" by Norman Gimbel and Charles Fox)

Let the time flow,

Let the love grow,

Let the rain shower,

Let the rose flower.

 

Love it seeks,

Love it finds,

Love it conquers,

Love it binds.

 

We come to each other from different worlds.

Drawn to each other by the love inside of us.

We give to each other our different worlds.

As long as we can do it, life's is going to breeze right through it.

 

Let the time flow,

Let the love grow,

Let the rain shower,

Let the rose flower.

 

Love it seeks,

Love it finds,

Love it conquers,

Love it binds.

 

Love it seeks,

Love it finds,

Love it conquers,

Love it binds.

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The Brady Bunch ("The Brady Bunch" by Frank DeVol and Sherwood Schwartz)

 

Here's the story of a lovely lady

Who was bringing up three very lovely girls.

All of them had hair of gold, like their mother,

The youngest one in curls.

 

Here's the store, of a man named Brady,

Who was busy with three boys of his own,

They were four men, living all together,

Yet they were all alone.

 

Till the one day when the lady met this fellow

And they knew it was much more than a hunch,

That this group would somehow form a family.

That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch.

The Brady Bunch,

 

That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch.

The Brady Bunch.

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Chico and the Man ("Chico and the Man" by Jose Feliciano)

Chico, don't be discouraged,

The Man he ain't so hard to understand.

Chico, if you try now,

I know that you can lend a helping hand.

 

Because there's good in everyone

And a new day has begun

You can see the morning sun if you try.

 

And I know, things will be better

Oh yes they will for Chico and the Man

Yes they will for Chico and the Man.

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Diff'rent Strokes ("It Takes Diff'rent Strokes" by Alan Thicke, Gloria Loring and Al Burton)

Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum,

What might be right for you, may not be right for some.

A man is born, he's a man of means.

Then along come two, they got nothing but their jeans.

 

But they got, Diff'rent Strokes.

It takes, Diff'rent Strokes.

It takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.

 

Everybody's got a special kind of story

Everybody finds a way to shine,

It don't matter that you got not alot

So what,

They'll have theirs, and you'll have yours, and I'll have mine.

And together we'll be fine....

 

Because it takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.

Yes it does.

It takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.

 

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Good Times ("Good Times" by Dave Grusin and Andrew Bergman)

Good Times.

Any time you meet a payment.

Good Times.

Any time you need a friend.

Good Times.

Any time you're out from under.

 

Not getting hastled, not getting hustled.

Keepin' your head above water,

Making a wave when you can.

 

Temporary lay offs.

Good Times.

Easy credit rip offs.

Good Times.

Scratchin' and surviving.

Good Times.

Hangin in a chow line

Good Times.

Ain't we lucky we got 'em

Good Times.

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Happy Days ("Happy Days" by Norman Gimbel and Charles Fox)

Sunday, Monday, Happy Days,

Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days,

Thursday, Friday, Happy Days,

Saturday, what a day,

Rockin all week with you.

 

This day is ours

Won't you be mine. (Oh Happy Days)

This day is ours (Oh Happy Days)

Oh please be mine.

 

Hello sunshine, goodbye rain,

She's wearing my high school ring on her chain.

She's my steady, I'm her man,

I'm gonna love her all I can.

(Chorus)

               -OR-

Goodbye gray skies, hello blue,
There's nothin' can hold me when I hold you;
Feels so right, it can't be wrong,
Rockin' and rollin' ALL night long!

(Chorus)

Gonna cruise her round the town,

Show everybody what I've found

Rock'n'roll with all my friends

Hopin' the music never ends.

 

These Happy Days are yours and mine (oh Happy Days)

These Happy Days are yours and mine (oh Happy Days)

These Happy Days are yours and mine, Happy Days.

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The Jeffersons ("Movin' on Up" by Jeff Barry and Ja'net Dubois)

Well we're movin on up,

To the east side.

To a deluxe apartment in the sky.

Movin on up

To the east side.

We finally got a piece of the pie.

 

Fish don't fry in the kitchen;

Beans don't burn on the grill.

Took a whole lotta tryin'

Just to get up that hill.

Now we're up in teh big leagues

Gettin' our turn at bat.

As long as we live, it's you and me baby

There ain't nothin wrong with that.

 

Well we're movin on up,

To the east side.

To a deluxe apartment in the sky.

Movin on up

To the east side.

We finally got a piece of the pie.

Top of Page

Laverne and Shirley ("Making our Dreams Come True" by Norman Gimbel and Charles Fox)

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Sclemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated.

We're gonna do it!

 

Give us any chance, we'll take it.

Give us any rule, we'll break it.

We're gonna make our dreams come true.

Doin' it our way.

 

Nothin's gonna turn us back now,

Straight ahead and on the track now.

We're gonna make our dreams come true,

Doin' it our way.

 

There is nothing we won't try,

Never heard the word impossible.

This time there's no stopping us.

We're gonna do it.

 

On your mark, get set, and go now,

Got a dream and we just know now,

We're gonna make our dream come true.

And we'll do it our way, yes our way.

Make all our dreams come true,

And do it our way, yes our way,

Make all our dreams come true

For me and you.

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The Love Boat ("The Love Boat" by Paul Williams and Charles Fox)

Love, exciting and new

Come Aboard. We're expecting you.

Love, life's sweetest reward.

Let it flow, it floats back to you.

 

Love Boat soon will be making another run

The Love Boat promises something for everyone

Set a course for adventure,

Your mind on a new romance.

 

Love won't hurt anymore

It's an open smile on a friendly shore.

Yes LOVE! It's LOVE! (hey-ah!)

 

Love Boat soon will be making another run

The Love Boat promises something for everyone

Set a course for adventure,

Your mind on a new romance.

 

Love won't hurt anymore

It's an open smile on a friendly shore.

It's LOVE! It's LOVE! It's

LOVE!

It's the Love Boat-ah! It's the Love Boat-ah!

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M*A*S*H ("Suicide is Painless" by Johnny Mandel)

Through early morning fog I see

visions of the things to be

the pains that are withheld for me

I realize and I can see...

 

[chorus]:

 

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

and I can take or leave it if I please.

 

I try to find a way to make

all our little joys relate

without that ever-present hate

but now I know that it's too late, and...

 

[Chorus]

 

The game of life is hard to play

I'm gonna lose it anyway

The losing card I'll someday lay

so this is all I have to say.

 

[Chorus]

 

The only way to win is cheat

And lay it down before I'm beat

and to another give my seat

for that's the only painless feat.

 

[Chorus]

 

MASH

The sword of time will pierce our skins

It doesn't hurt when it begins

But as it works its way on in

The pain grows stronger...watch it grin, but...

 

[Chorus]

 

A brave man once requested me

to answer questions that are key

'is it to be or not to be'

and I replied 'oh why ask me?'

 

'Cause suicide is painless

it brings on many changes

and I can take or leave it if I please.

...and you can do the same thing if you choose.

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Mary Tyler Moore Show ("Love is All Around" by Sonny Curtis)

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well it's you girl, and you should know it

With each glance and every little movement you show it

 

Love is all around, no need to waste it

You can have a town, why don't you take it

You're gonna make it after all

You're gonna make it after all

 

How will you make it on your own?

This world is awfully big, girl this time you're all alone

But it's time you started living

It's time you let someone else do some giving

 

Love is all around, no need to waste it

You can have a town, why don't you take it

You're gonna make it after all

You're gonna make it after all

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Maude ("And Then There's Maude" by Dave Grusin and Andrew Bergman)

Lady Godiva was a freedom rider

She didnt' care if the whole world looked.

Joan of Arc with the Lord to guide her

She was a sister who really cooked.

 

Isadora was the first bra burner

And you're glad she showed up. (Oh yeah)

And when the country was falling apart

Betsy Ross got it all sewed up.

 

And then there's Maude.

And then there's Maude.

And then there's Maude.

And then there's Maude.

And then there's Maude.

And then there's Maude.

And then there's

 

That old compromisin', enterprisin', anything but tranquilizing,

Right on Maude.

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Nanny and the Professor (Theme by Steve Zuckerman and Fred Calvert)

Soft and sweet

Wise and wonderful

Oooh our mystical, magical nanny.

 

Since the day that nanny came to stay with us

Fantastic things keep happening.

Is there really magic in the things she does

Or is love the only magic thing that nanny brings

 

You know our nanny showed us you can make the impossible happen.

Nanny told us have a little faith and lots of love

 

Phoebe Figalilly is a silly name

And so many silly things keep happening

What is this magic thing about nanny

Is it Love? Or is it Magic?.

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The Odd Couple (By Sammy Cahn and Neal Hefti)

No matter where they go

They are known as the couple.

They're never seen alone

So they're known as the couple.

 

As I've indicated

They are never quite separated,

They are peas in a pod.

Don't you think that it's odd.

 

Their habits, I confess

None can guess with the couple.

If one says no it's yes

more or less, with the couple.

 

But they're laugh provoking;

Yet they really don't know they're joking.

Don't you find

When love is blind

It's kind of odd.

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One Day at a Time (Theme by John and Nancy Barry)

This is it. This is it.

This is life, the one you get

So go and have a ball.

 

This is it. This is it

Straight ahead and rest assured

You can’t be sure at all.

 

So while you’re here enjoy the view

Keep on doing what you do

So hold on tight we'll muddle through

One day at a time, One day at a time.

 

So up on your feet. Up on your feet

Somewhere there’s music playing.

Don’t you worry none

We’ll just take it like it comes.

 

One day at a time, one day at a time.

One day at a time, one day at a time.

One day at a time, one day at a time.

One day at a time, one day at a time.

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The Partridge Family ("C'mon Get Happy" by Wes Farrell and Danny Janssen)

Hello, world, here the song that we're singin'

C'mon get happy!

A whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringin'

We'll make you happy!

 

We had a dream, we'd go travelin' together,

We'd spread a little lovin' then we'd keep movin' on.

Somethin' always happens whenever we're together

We get a happy feelin' when we're singing a song.

 

Trav'lin' along there's a song that we're singin'

C'mon get happy!

A Whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringin'

We'll make you happy!

We'll make you happy!

We'll make you happy!

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Three's Company ("Three's Company" by Don Nicholl and Joe Raposo)

Come and knock on our door.....

We've been waiting for you......

Where the kisses are hers and hers and his,

Three's company too.

 

Come and dance on on our floor......

Take a step that is new.....

We've a loveable space that needs your face,

Three's company too.

 

You'll see that life is a frolic and laughter is calling for you......

Down at our rendez-vous,

Three's company, too!!!!!!

 

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Welcome Back Kotter ("Welcome Back" by John Sebastian)

Welcome back,

Your dreams were your ticket out.

 

Welcome back,

To that same old place that you laughed about.

 

Well the names have all changed since you hung around,

But those dreams have remained and they're turned around.

 

Who'd have thought they'd lead ya (Who'd have thought they'd lead ya)

Here where we need ya (Here where we need ya)

 

Yeah we tease him a lot cause we've hot him on the spot, welcome back,

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

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WKRP in Cincinnati (Theme by T Wells and H Wilson)

Baby, if you've ever wondered,

Wondered whatever became of me,

I'm living on the air in Cincinnati,

Cincinnati, WKRP.

 

Got kind of tired packing and unpacking,

Town to town and up and down the dial

Maybe you and me were never meant to be,

But baby think of me once in awhile.

 

I'm at WKRP in Cincinnati..

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Bosom Buddies ("My Life" by Billy Joel)

Got a call from an old friend

We used to be real close

Said he couldn't go on the American way

Closed the shop, sold the house

Bought a ticket to the West Coast

Now he gives them a stand-up routine in L.A.

 

CHORUS

I don't need you to worry for me cause I'm alright

I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home

I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life

Go ahead with your own life, and leave me alone

 

I never said you had to offer me a second chance

I never said I was a victim of circumstance

I still belong, don't get me wrong

And you can speak your mind

But not on my time

 

They will tell you you can't sleep alone

In a strange place

Then they'll tell you you can't sleep

With somebody else

But sooner or later you sleep

In your own space

Either way it's okay

You wake up with yourself.

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 Charles in Charge ("Charles in Charge" by Timothy Thompson)

New boy in the neighborhood

Lives downstairs and it is understood.

He’s there just to take good care of me,

Like he’s one of the family.

 

Charles in Charge

Of our days and our nights

Charles in Charge

Of our wrongs and our rights

 

And I sing, I want,

I want Charge in Charge of me.

 

Charles in Charge

Of our days and our nights

Charles in Charge

Of our wrongs and our rights

 

And I sing, I want,

I want Charge in Charge of me.

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Cheers ("Where Everybody Knows Your Name" by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo)

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.

Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

 

Wouldn't you like to get away?

 

Sometimes you want to go

 

Where everybody knows your name,

and they're always glad you came.

You wanna be where you can see,

our troubles are all the same

You wanna be where everybody knows

Your name.

 

You wanna go where people know,

people are all the same,

You wanna go where everybody knows

your name.

 

 Top of Page

A Different World ("A Different World" by Bill Cosby, Stu Gardner and Dawnn Lewis)

I know my parents love me,

Stand behind me come what may.

I know now that I'm ready,

Because I finally heard them say

It's a different world form where you come from.

 

Here's a chance to make it,

If we focus on our goals.

If you dish it we can take it,

Just remember you've been told

It's a different world form where you come from.

It's a different world form where you come from.

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Empty Nest ("Life Goes On" by John Bettis and George Tipton)

Life goes on, and so do we,

Just how we do it is no mystery.

One by one (one by one), we fill the days,

We find a thousand different ways.

 

Sometimes the answer can be hard to find (hard to find),

That's something I will never be.

I'm always here, for anything you need (anything you need).

 

Rain or shine, I'll be the one,

to share it all as life goes on.

We share it all, as life goes on.

Top of Page

The Facts of Life ("The Facts of Life" by Alan Thicke, Gloria Loring and Al Burton)

There's a place you've got to go for learning

all you want to know about the facts of life

the facts of life.

 

When books are what you're there about

and looks are what you care about

the time is right,

to learn the facts of life.

 

When the world never seems

to be living up to your dreams

it's time you started finding out

what everything is all about

 

When the boys you used to hate you date,

I guess you best investigate

the facts of life you gotta get'em right

the facts of life,

the facts of life,

the facts of life

Top of Page

Family Matters ("As Days Go By" by Jesse Frederick, Bennet Salvay and Scott Roeme)

It's a rare condition, this day and age,

to read any good news on the newspaper page.

Love and tradition of the grand design,

some people say it's even harder to find.

 

Well then there must be some magic clue inside these tearful walls

Cause all I see is a tower of dreams

real love burstin' out of every seam.

 

As days go by,

we're gonna fill our house with happiness.

The moon may cry,

we're gonna smother the blues with tenderness.

 

When days go by,

there's room for you,

room for me,

for gentle hearts an opportunity.

 

As days go by,

it's the bigger love of the family.

Top of Page

Family Ties ("Without Us" by Jeff Barry and Tom Scott)

I bet we been together for a million years,

And I bet we'll be together for a million more.

 

Oh, It's like I started breathing on the night we kissed,

And I can't remember what I ever did before.

 

What would we do baby, Without Us?

What would we do baby, Without Us?

 

And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.

 

What would we do baby, Without Us?

 

Sha la la la.

Top of Page

Full House ("Everywhere You Look" by Jesse Frederick)

What ever happened to predictability?

The milkman, the paperboy, evening TV.

 

Everywhere you look , everywhere you go (there's a heart).

There's a heart

A hand to hold onto.

 

Everywhere you look , everywhere you go.

There's a face

Of somebody who needs you.

 

Everywhere you look,

When you're lost out there and you're all alone,

A light is waiting to carry you home,

Everywhere you look.

Everywhere you look.

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Gimme A Break ("Gimme a Break" by R. Page and J. Graydon)

Gimme a break I sure deserve it

It's time I made it to the top.

Gimme a break I’m looking forward

Get behind me pull out every stop

 

I want a happy ending

I'm tried of pretending

Won't let em get the best of me

Wo wo wo wo

 

Gimme a break the game is survival

Gimme a break and plan my arrival

Gimme a break for heaven's sake

to my piece of the cake

 

Gimme a break

Gimme a break

Gimme a break

Top of Page

Golden Girls ("Thank You for Being a Friend" by Andrew Gold)

Thank you for being a friend

Traveled down the road and back again

Your heart is true your a pal and a confidante.

 

And if you threw a party

Invited everyone you knew

You would see the biggest gift would be from me

And the card attached would say "Thank you for being a friend".

Top of Page

The Greatest American Hero ("Greatest American Hero (Believe it or Not)" by Mike Post and Stephen Geyer)

Look at what's happened to me,

I can't believe it myself.

Suddenly I'm up on top of the world,

It should've been somebody else.

 

Believe it or not,

I'm walking on air.

I never thought I could feel so free-.

Flying away on a wing and a prayer.

Who could it be?

Believe it or not it's just me.

 

It's like a light of a new day-,

It came from out of the blue.

Breaking me out of the spell I was in,

Making all of my wishes come true-.

 

Believe it or not,

I'm walking on air.

I never thought I could feel so free-.

Flying away on a wing and a prayer.

Who could it be?

Believe it or not it's just me.

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Growing Pains ("As Long as We Got Each Other" by Steve Dorff and John Bettis)

Show me that smile again. (Show me that smile)

Don’t waste another minute on your cryin’.

We're nowhere near the end (nowhere near)

The best is ready to begin.

 

Oooohhh. As long as we got each other

We got the world spinnin right in our hands.

Baby you and me, we gotta be

The luckiest dreamers who never quit dreamin’.

 

As long as we keep on givin’

we can take anything that comes our way

Baby, rain or shine, all the time

We got each other Sharin’ the laughter and love.

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Kate and Allie ("Friends" by John Lefler and Ralph Schuckett)

Just when you think there's no one around who's caring,

along comes a friend who offers a hand in sharing,

and things start looking fine.

 

Sometimes tears and sorrow are all the things you've got

and just when you think you're all by yourself, you're not.

Top of Page

Love, Sidney ("Friends Forever" by Carol Connors and Billy Goldenberg)

Please believe me,

Lately my whole world is changing.

Suddenly you're here and my life's better than before.

We're friends forever.

Sharing everything together,

always understanding just how much the other cares.

 

We're friends forever.

You know that's how I feel.

We'll stick together.

Please say we've got a deal.

We're friends forever.

And when the rest have gone,

It's you who will be there for me,

My friend.

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Married...with Children ("Love and Marriage" by Sammy Cahn and Jimmy Van Heusen)

Love and Marriage, Love and Marriage,

Go together like a horse and carriage,

This I tell ya brother, you can't have one without the other.

 

Love and Marriage, Love and Marriage,

It's an institute you can't disparage,

Ask the local gentry, and they will say is element'ry.

 

Try, try, try to separate them,

It's an illusion.

Try, try, try and